Human! Karkat Vantas x Reader - All The Bitches

Snuggling closer to Karkat, you inhaled deeply. He smelt of peppermints and chocolate. He did eat a lot of candy canes, some hot cocoa, and almost half a pack if Hershey's kisses. The memory of him sucking on candy canes and wearing a santa hat was adorable in your opinion, sadly the brunette did not think the same. He just wanted to watch movies while snuggling.

"This movie is shit." You commented, not understanding how the main character was so clueless to her own situation.

"It gets better! And honestly, how would you act if you fell asleep a 13-year-old and woke up 30!?" The male asked, rather upset at the comment. He understood it was weird till the end, but couldn't you hold back the snarky comments?!?!?!

Obviously not,

"I don't know. Guess I'd do what she did in the beginning, ya know, try to find you and get an explanation. I'm just saying I hate the way she dresses and how she acts, that's all." You mumbled, eyes drifting to your lover's face. His near flawless, slightly tanned skin, his bright green-blue eyes, white and rather sharp teeth, and his dark brown hair. It covered most of his face, and he usually used it to cover his eyes when avoiding confrontation. It was a cute sigh to see.

"Well. . . I guess this movie is weird. I don't get how it's really considered a RomCom. There's some comedy, but not too much romance. It's mostly about how a teenage girl wants to be successful in life, not caring about the consequences, but then certain events happen that make her change her mind." Karkat explained, turning his head and catching your gaze. He blushed and pouted a little, turning his head away.

"Guess I'll just stick to watching 50 First Dates, and Hitch." You said, laughing a little. The movies were pretty good, but you just thought it was because of Adam Sandler and Will Smith. "Or~ Maybe we can watch The Five Year Engagement, again~" You said, smirking. You knew how much the New Yorker hated the film.

"No. . . Just. . No." Karkat shook his head, glaring harshly at the TV. No amount of Jason Segal charm could make him like that movie. "The girl was a complete bitch. She kisses her professor, waits a while to tell her fiancé, breaks up with her fiancé because he went a little crazy, then breaks up with her professor to go back to her fiancé. It was nice, but the character was just so. . Ugh."

"Yes, yes, I understand. Bitch lady is a bitch. Case closed." You clarified, grabbing some popcorn. "We are some of the best detectives. Other than the guys from Problem Sleuth. Wait. That doesn't even need to be said - those guys are the shit." You said, casually tossing popcorn into your mouth.

". . ."

*munch* *munch*

". . . . I fucking love you."

Patting Karkat on the cheek sweetly, you nodded. A large smirk was on your face, and Karkat regretted saying the rather emotional words. You crossed your arms behind your head and leaned on them as a makeshift pillow, and put your feet on the coffee table.


"I know you do, bitch. I know you do."


The ever so 'feared' Karkat Vantas was now whipped.
That's to say, he will now admit in a very pissed off, tired manner.



[Name] [Surname] gets all the bitches.
All of them.