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Snuggling closer to Karkat, you inhaled deeply. He smelt of peppermints and chocolate. He did eat a lot of candy canes, some hot cocoa, and almost half a pack if Hershey's kisses. The memory of him sucking on candy canes and wearing a santa hat was adorable in your opinion, sadly the brunette did not think the same. He just wanted to watch movies while snuggling.

"This movie is shit." You commented, not understanding how the main character was so clueless to her own situation.

"It gets better! And honestly, how would you act if you fell asleep a 13-year-old and woke up 30!?" The male asked, rather upset at the comment. He understood it was weird till the end, but couldn't you hold back the snarky comments?!?!?!

Obviously not,

"I don't know. Guess I'd do what she did in the beginning, ya know, try to find you and get an explanation. I'm just saying I hate the way she dresses and how she acts, that's all." You mumbled, eyes drifting to your lover's face. His near flawless, slightly tanned skin, his bright green-blue eyes, white and rather sharp teeth, and his dark brown hair. It covered most of his face, and he usually used it to cover his eyes when avoiding confrontation. It was a cute sigh to see.

"Well. . . I guess this movie is weird. I don't get how it's really considered a RomCom. There's some comedy, but not too much romance. It's mostly about how a teenage girl wants to be successful in life, not caring about the consequences, but then certain events happen that make her change her mind." Karkat explained, turning his head and catching your gaze. He blushed and pouted a little, turning his head away.

"Guess I'll just stick to watching 50 First Dates, and Hitch." You said, laughing a little. The movies were pretty good, but you just thought it was because of Adam Sandler and Will Smith. "Or~ Maybe we can watch The Five Year Engagement, again~" You said, smirking. You knew how much the New Yorker hated the film.

"No. . . Just. . No." Karkat shook his head, glaring harshly at the TV. No amount of Jason Segal charm could make him like that movie. "The girl was a complete bitch. She kisses her professor, waits a while to tell her fiancé, breaks up with her fiancé because he went a little crazy, then breaks up with her professor to go back to her fiancé. It was nice, but the character was just so. . Ugh."

"Yes, yes, I understand. Bitch lady is a bitch. Case closed." You clarified, grabbing some popcorn. "We are some of the best detectives. Other than the guys from Problem Sleuth. Wait. That doesn't even need to be said - those guys are the shit." You said, casually tossing popcorn into your mouth.

". . ."

*munch* *munch*

". . . . I fucking love you."

Patting Karkat on the cheek sweetly, you nodded. A large smirk was on your face, and Karkat regretted saying the rather emotional words. You crossed your arms behind your head and leaned on them as a makeshift pillow, and put your feet on the coffee table.


"I know you do, bitch. I know you do."


The ever so 'feared' Karkat Vantas was now whipped.
That's to say, he will now admit in a very pissed off, tired manner.



[Name] [Surname] gets all the bitches.
All of them.
The title makes so much sense.
This was supposed to be a lemon, but it kept going off-track. I decided it'd be wasteful to just delete it, so I edited and this is what happened. XD
This is dedicated to :iconkirara115:. She supported the idea of me making a Karkat lemon. XD Sorry it's more crack them romance.
Enjoy~

-Disclaimer-
Homestuck and Karkat belong to :iconandrewhussieplz:
You belong to Dave Strider. :icondaveapprovesplz:
The picture belongs to its rightful owner.
I only own the story.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconfanfictions112:
Fanfictions112 Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2015  New Deviant Hobbyist General Artist
Splash: HELL YUS! I GETS ALL DEM BITCHEZZZZ!!! *points to Claire and Chassidy* U 2 ISH MAI BITCHEZ
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
And that was the story of how Splash Reaper was brutally covered in mind honey and locked in a closet with Sollux Captor by Claire and Chassidy Camden
Reply
:iconhaleyboplucy:
haleyboplucy Featured By Owner Edited Jul 1, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Hell yeah I do! Let me take a look at my bitch list:
Karkat
John
Dave
Jake
Sollux
Hussie
Everyone

I have all the bitches. They are all lining up down the block. All of them -_-
Reply
:iconanimepanther921:
AnimePanther921 Featured By Owner Edited Apr 18, 2015  Student Writer
Yes, I belong to Dave. Dave is mine. I am Dave's. No one else. Dave and Karkat are my bitches. John, Dirk, Jake, Sollux, and everyone else are too because I only take high-class bitches, the canon bitches.
Reply
:iconmcwolfspirit:
MCwolfspirit Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2015  Student Digital Artist
You belong to Dave Strider
what whait
Reply
:iconloganlereaper:
LoganLeReaper Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I know I get all of the bitches.. I mean people pet me as much as they can, and I get confessed to daily. I gotz dem. oh I do.
Reply
:iconpokemongirl1212:
Pokemongirl1212 Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2015
I get bitches like Vriska gets luck. I get alllllll the bitches.
Reply
:iconderpyderperson666:
derpyderperson666 Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2015
WTF r we watching XD
Reply
:iconxvelocityrapturex:
xVelocityRapturex Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You had me at the title
Reply
:iconbunnygoblin:
Bunnygoblin Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2015
Karkat that sexy peice of ass,is my bitch.
Reply
:iconemiliasenpai:
EmiliaSenpai Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2015
You're damn right I do, but I don't take just any bitches, my bitches have to fill out an application and prove their bitchy worth in order to become one of my bitches, for I only take the best of the bitches.
Reply
:iconawesomeperson26:
AwesomePerson26 Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2015
High quality bitches, huh? I agree, though. Only the best of bitches shall be my bitches.
Reply
:iconkookiemonster91102:
KookieMonster91102 Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
I love the movie Hitch!!!!
Reply
:iconsunstar12345:
Sunstar12345 Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2015
I love the movie "50 First Dates" XD
Reply
:iconjeffthekillerkupkake:
Hehe fuck yea I do
Reply
:icontheaylanextdoor:
TheAylaNextDoor Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hells fucking yeah
Ayla Joseph gets all the bitches ~
Reply
:iconbrittny-the-wolf:
brittny-the-wolf Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Elly Silversoul get's all the bitches. Every single one. XD Love this story :3 you are a great writer.
Reply
:iconarhodiana:
Arhodiana Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Yup, I get AAAAAAAALL the bitches.
*points at random bitches* You see these bitches? These are my bitches.
These are all the bitches. And I have them. I have ALL of the bitches.

…I really don't feel comfortable saying "bitches" so much, but that joke absolutely had to be run into the fucking ground.
Sorry.
Reply
:iconvriska-friska-serket:
Vriska-Friska-Serket Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
*Pats*
Reply
:iconvantasticcalligraphy:
VantasticCalligraphy Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
All the bitches.... ALL of them...;)
Reply
:iconflowerthekiller:
FlowerTheKiller Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014
OuO dat was epic...*vanishes randomly*
Reply
:iconempresswedsday:
EmpressWedsday Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
WE WERE WATCHING 13 GOING ON 30?!?!!? I FUCKING LOVE THAT MOVIE! *FANGIRL SQUEALS*
Reply
:iconaquaunique16:
aquaunique16 Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2015  Student General Artist
OMG!!!!!!! I FUCKING LOVE THAT MOVIE TOO!!! IT WAS FUCKING HILARIOUS AND AMAZING!!! 😆😆😆😆😆😆😆 😆😆😆😆😆😆
Reply
:iconannietheleo:
AnnieTheLeo Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
All of them bitches >:]
Reply
:icongrimdark-pinkamena:
Grimdark-Pinkamena Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2014  Student Digital Artist
ALL THE BITCHES!!!!
Reply
:iconcronusamporaswifey:
CronusAmporasWifey Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2014  Student Writer
fuck yeah i do
Reply
:iconsolluxwantsme:
SolluxWantsMe Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
*is reading the discription* wait... Strider??? Since when did that Ironic excuse of a teen start owning me? Huss, you've got some 'splaining to do! :iconhussieplz:
Reply
:iconbucketsandharmonylol:
BucketsandHarmonyLOL Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
That's cause all the bitches love me yo xD
Reply
:iconcindraofthelost:
CindraOfTheLost Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Cindra Viilan gets all the bitches. FUCKING HELL YES I DO!!!!!~
Reply
:iconkatdemonic18:
KatDemonic18 Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2014  Student Writer
Heeellll yyeeeaahhh I get all the bitchez B)
Reply
:icondanielle14178:
danielle14178 Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
AND THERE WERE THREE BITCHES~!!! THREEEEEEEEEE THERE WERE THREEEEEEEEEEE
((Sorry I had to do that .3.))
Reply
:iconbucketsandharmonylol:
BucketsandHarmonyLOL Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
oh Gog is that from "Never read homestuck" video?
Reply
:icondanielle14178:
danielle14178 Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Yes
Reply
:iconpikagurl23:
Pikagurl23 Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2013  Student Artist

Me: YEAH! ALL THEM BITCHEZ! YO KANAYA!

Kanaya: WHAT CHU WANT?!
Me: WHAT DOES THE BITCH METER SAY?!
Kanaya: ITS OVER 9000!

 

....im sorry

Reply
:iconinsanity13heartless:
Insanity13Heartless Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2014  Student General Artist
You are a funny funny person like DBZ and Homestuck in one comment. *offers you more bitches* Have em. I don't need them!!!Run 
Reply
:iconhetaliafreak1235:
Hetaliafreak1235 Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Best comment ever....
Reply
:iconbucketsandharmonylol:
BucketsandHarmonyLOL Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
I love strangers on deviant art... They make my fucking day xD
Reply
:iconissywerewolf:
IssyWerewolf Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
XD

I laughed so hard at the last two lines.
Reply
:iconblack-butler362:
black-butler362 Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2013  Student Interface Designer
Omg I love that movie!
Reply
:iconjazzminth22:
JazzminTH22 Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I do this to all my guys ;)
Reply
:iconilovecheeseandcheese:
All dem bitchs
Reply
:iconthenumberonesloth:
thenumberonesloth Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2013
I GET ALL DA BITCHES
Reply
:iconxxilluminatedofwcxx:
xXIlluminatedOfWCXx Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2013
FUCK YES
I'M OWNED BY DAVE STRIDER <3
Reply
:iconi-write-fanfictions:
I-write-fanfictions Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
That is like the best ending ever XD
Reply
:iconshaliah-honk:
ShAlIaH-HoNK Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2013  Student Writer
XD loved it, your a great writer!!! :3
Reply
:iconmiss-fandom-chan:
Miss-Fandom-Chan Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Were we watching 13 going on 30? :XD:
Reply
:icon6canada6:
6Canada6 Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
Perf.
Reply
:iconawesomeperson26:
AwesomePerson26 Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2013
Yes you are.
Reply
:iconmirthfulgrimdark:
MirthfulGrimdark Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2013
yes..yes I do...
Reply
:iconlil-fanfic-girl:
lil-fanfic-girl Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2013
wait... why do i belong to Dave?
Reply
:iconitscursorbby:
ItsCursorBby Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Because he's Dave Strider. Dave Strider owns all of us.
Reply
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